


Prompt Book Answers

by Jeanne160



Category: Original Work
Genre: From a Prompt Book, Gen, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-11 21:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5642383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeanne160/pseuds/Jeanne160
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I bought this giant prompt book and I've decided I'll answer every freaking one, no matter how long or how short they are, and post all of them here. Please enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fortune Cookies

Write yesterday's fortune cookie. It got everything wrong.

Agatha took note of everything around her in the awful restaurant. Gaudy paper lanterns hung from the walls and ceiling, giving the dining room too much light. The chairs were obviously bought at Ikea as were the tables. The food had tasted like burnt plastic which had then been put in a blender with wheat grass and then poured over burnt rice which then got fried.

She cracked open the fortune cookie at the end of the night (further proving just how shitty and non-authentic the restaurant was). The cookie tasted fine, which was great, but she got a weird fortune. The fortune read: “Vampires will soon strike you if you do not order again.” Really? What, trying to scare customers into ordering food from your shop? Stupid.

Agatha went home that night and wrote a bad review for the restaurant. She was never attacked by vampires.

Write last year's fortune cookie. It got everything right.

Terrence opened the fortune cookie and quite frankly devoured it. Afterwards, he read the fortune. Upon first reading he didn't really understand it. The cookie read: “There is no such thing as an ordinary cat.” What? Are all cats supposed to be extraordinary then?

The following day, which of course had been the beginning of the new year,Terrence inherited his mother’s cat. This thing was old as fuck, but seemed to be rather ordinary. It was a calico with green eyes. The breed was probably a domestic short hair. It was affectionate, but nothing was particularly special about it, or so Terrence thought.

In January Terrence started calling the cat, which had been named Corry, to Devil. The cat had obviously started losing it’s mind because it started pooping on his bed. This however stopped after Terrence removed the top from the litter box. The cat still didn’t poop in the litter box though. It just started pooping in the bathroom sink. Asshole.

In February, the cat realized it could poop in the litter box. Upon find out it no longer had a way to piss off Terrence, it started waking him up at five o’clock in the morning by meowing. Five in the morning every morning. On the dot. For seemingly no reason. The cat had plenty of food and water, and closing the door only made the meowing louder. Terrence, deciding there wasn’t anything else he could do, started going to bed at eight like a little kid, so his body could handle getting up at five in the morning. The cat probably considered this a win. Asshole.

In March, the cat stopped meowing, since Terrence was getting up anyway. deciding it now couldn’t annoy Terrence by waking him up, it started tearing up his house when he wasn’t home. It started small. A couple scratch marks on the already marked up sofa wasn’t a problem. Then it started knocking things down in the closet. That annoyed Terrence, but it was all easily moved, and even helped Terrence find a file he’d thought he lost. The cat then started knocking the flower vase off the table. Terrence glared at the cat when it happened, but cleaned up the mess none the less. It wasn’t until the cat tore up his papers, causing him to get fired that Terrace called the leaving the house alone war lost. He decided that he could just make and sell pillows online for a living. He also took the cat for a ride in the car. The cat decided that everything except the ride was a win and stopped shredding Terrence’s home. Asshole.

In April, the cat started sleeping on Terrence’s chest while he was sowing in front of his TV. Devil didn’t get in the way, however, so Terrence allowed it. Afterall, how could such a small creature cause him to be unable to sow. Then it started growling whenever Terrence moved his arms. Terrence thought petting the cat would help it. Petting the cat did not help matters. At least he didn’t get bitten. Terrence decided that the cat was evil and started sowing in a chair off to the side of living room. When Terrence eventually put the pillow down to lie down on the couch, the cat curled up on his chest and neither of them moved until bedtime, which was still eight o’clock. Asshole.

In May, the cat stared killing rodents again.Terrence couldn’t figure out what it had been doing before, considering most cats spend a third of their day working on their hunting skills, but it started leaving dead rodents in hard to reach places. Well, hard to reach for a human. After about half a month of this, the cat started leaving the dead rodents in one spot. Right in front of the TV. Like a present. Except Terrence was sure it wasn’t a present, but a form of showing off how good a hunter it was. Asshole.

In June, Terrence became allergic to the cat. The cat screamed at him when Terrence started moving the cat off his chest because allergies sucked, but there really wasn’t much Terrence could do. Unfortunately the allergy medication made Terrence drowsy, which he couldn’t be if he was sewing pillows all day. But Terrence ended up suffering through it. The cat then started purring louder when he petted the cat. Asshole.  
In July, the cat started talking. It started as simple commands, like up, down, pet, food, help. Then it started getting more complex. Eww, human scent. You smell sick. Now you smell like medication. You’re food smells good. Keep petting me. Stop petting me. Finally one day at the end of the month the cat stared in Terrences eye’s and said, “I tolerate you because you give me affection and you feed me,” then it blinked. Terrence decided his allergy medication shouldn’t be mixed with cold medication. The cat kept talking. Asshole.

In August, the cat attempted to run out the front door when Terrence went to the store. Apparently, Devil decided he wanted a car ride. Butt-much followed him into the store and told him which cat food to buy. Deciding that he was insane, but not in a harmful way, Terrence picked up the cat food, and called it a day. Arguing with a cat in a store would just be too crazy, right? Still, the cat got its way. It stopped going to the store with Terrence after it got the type of food it wanted. Asshole.

In September, the cat told him his body was going to have a heart attack. Terrence waved off the cats concern. At the end of the month he had a heart attack and was stuck in the hospital for four days. The cat was right. Asshole.

In November, the cat told him there would be a freak snow storm. Terrence bought a snow shovel, and a lot of salt. Everyone made fun of him. The snow storm never happened. The cat later told Terrence it was just fucking with him. Asshole.

In December, the cat apologized for being an asshole in the prior month. It curled next to Terrence and purred whether Terrence pet the cat or not. It stopped hunting. It let Terrence work when he wanted. The cat didn’t wake him up when he slept in one day. After christmas, where it had been unusually silent all day (Terrence accepted it as a christmas gift), the cat told him he was for real going to die. Terrence took the cat seriously and wrote a will. In the will Terrence included who the cat was supposed to go to. On the thirty first Terrence rediscovered the fortune cookie from the prior year. The cat told him that fortune cookies are seldom wrong.

In January, Terrence died.


	2. Tweets

1\. Boil down Hamlet, Shakespeare's longest play to a tweet (145 characters).

Hamlet: Father dead, uncle married mom, and then everyone died, except for the best friend, who tells the story to some people. Idk who. (136)

2\. Now tweet the plot to the original Star Wars.

Star Wars: Let's rescue the princess, and realize I'm a jedi, but not explain what a Jedi is. Takes an outlaw and a rug. Storm-trooper hits head. (145)

3\. Tweet the story of your life.

Mom: Not present in parent department  
Sister: Acts as Mom  
Grandpa: Is now father figure  
Me: Pure heart with dirty mind  
(115)

4\. Tweet your day, so far.

Lazy bored watching tv because internet's out. Starts a story. Has new book, doesn't read. GG, self, GG.(104)


	3. Write About a Time You Broke...

1.A bone

I've never actually broke a bone, so I'm just going to make up a story.

When my sister and I were younger, we used to travel a lot because our grandfather, who we lived with, was a field engineer for GE. Essentially this position was managing the people who fixed the GE engines in plane, mostly in overseas locations.

One time my sister and I were playing in this little indoor playroom inside the hotel we lived in at the time. Our mother wasn't watching us, preferring to sleep in the middle of the day, and we didn't have a baby sitter. There were no adults in this room at the time, and the door had been left unlocked from the last group of people who played there. This room, for the record, very rarely had adults in it. It was a room I was certain was only accessible from the outside, and I don't remember this room having a bathroom attached.

There was a lot of play equipment in the room, but the body balls were my sister's and mine favorite. On this particular occasion we were passing it back and forth. I must have grabbed the ball wrong because one minute I was laughing at something my sister said, and the next I was screaming in pain. My sister started panicking when she saw that my pinkie finger was out of place. She grabbed me by the wrist and together we ran into the lobby of the hotel. She went up the elevator to wake our mother and tell her what happened, while I asked the man at the front desk if he knew how to fix the problem. Keep in mind that at the time I must have been six, and my sister must have been eight.

My mom and sister had just gotten down the elevator (my mother in her bathrobe) as the man finished calling for a taxi. I'd like to take this moment to point out that we were living in Seoul, South Korea at the time. While it wasn't odd that the person in the lobby of the hotel spoke decent enough English, the average person did not. The man in the front lobby put up a sign, probably saying that he'd be right back, and escorted the three of us to the taxi. The lobby man told the taxi driver where to go and then we were off.

Everything else was kind of a blur of half spoken English between ER doctors, and eventually getting a cast. At some point my mom probably started yelling at the doctors, because she had the shortest temper known to man and would take it out on everyone (sometimes including my sister and I).

It took months to heal and school sucked because holding a pencil was awkward. This pinkie braking incident lead to my handwriting being terrible for years, and to this day I have a crooked pinkie finger.

2\. A heart

I'll never tell the truth about this to anyone, but for a while when I was eighteen I dated a 36 year old man online. He had told me multiple times that he loved me. At one point I told him I loved him without meaning it, and I felt guilty about it.

For a while he was never online, and so I wasn't online either. Suddenly he started appearing online again, but it was while I was getting into voice acting a webcomic with a friend of mine. I spent a few weeks trying to analyze why I didn't want to talk to him again and realized that I wasn't really in love with him and just wanted a boyfriend, which wasn't fair to him. I broke up with him over email, and then stopped using that e-mail account. I still haven't checked that account.

3\. The law

For a while in high school I didn't have a ride to and from school. I was also a part of an after school club for the first time ever. One of the guys in this club was known to do drugs, and make really shitty decisions, which he blamed on the fact his parents weren't really there for him.

One day he caught me walking home from school. He offered me a ride home. I accepted. I later found out he had drugs in a shoe box in his car. I'm glad we didn't get pulled over. My step-dad doesn't know, and if he found out I'd be in so much trouble.

And two for the price of one, I got in this guy's car a second time. I got lucky we were never pulled over.

4\. A promise

I have promised several teachers I wouldn't lose contact with them when I moved on from school, but I have indeed not contacted them after moving forward with my life. Oops.


	4. Odd Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Think about your weirdest family member, and write one short scene about why they are such an oddball.

Aunt Clair opened the door and screamed into the living room, “There's a bear outside!”

Mother made her sister sit down, and got her a glass of water. Upon mother's return, Aunt Clair pointed out the window and declared for all and sundry that, “The bear is right outside the window!”

My mother and I both looked out the window and saw nothing. I look out to the forest and saw my grandpa walking his African Rhodesian Ridgeback (which is a really big breed of dog).

“Do you mean Samba?” I asked, to which she replied no, she did not mean my grandfather's dog.

“Maybe you meant Grandpa Randy?” my Mother suggested, “Is that what you saw?”

“No,” Aunt Clair screamed, “It was a giant brown bear. I'm not making this up!”

Then, as if the cosmic joke which was my Aunt couldn't get any funnier, a raccoon ran past my grandfather, causing Samba to start barking. Samba gave chase, dragging my screeching grandpa behind him. The racoon couldn't be caught though. It scrambled up to the window ledge and through the still open window into the house. Samba got as far as poking his massive head in through the window before he couldn't follow anymore. My grandfather pulled himself free just as Samba found a way to get his front half through the window. The racoon, however, had wedged itself behind the bookcase. Aunt Clair started wailing about the 'bear' being in the house. Later I would ask myself how she saw the raccoon from that far away. In the moment, I was too busy trying to keep my mother from picking up the 'coon with her bare hands.

Grandpa came in with his hunting gun he usually keeps in the shed and shot the raccoon in the breast with it. The pain scared the 'coon into running right between grandpa's legs and out into the field. It ran back into the forest, leaving behind a big, hairy monster stuck in our window.

“Well I guess it's time to get the mayo!” Aunt Clair declared.

“We're not getting the dog unstuck with mayonnaise!” my mother argued without missing a beat.

“Well how else will you get the furry tank out of the window?”

“How about we push him through backwards?” I suggested.

“He'll get stuck!” my aunt insisted.

“No he won't Clair,” my mom said, “How did he even get his front half in anyway?”

“He tried to jump and got his front half in I guess,” my grandfather replied, “And Clair's right. If we try to push him back through by his front his back will hit the top of the window and he won't know how to get out. I think we need to call for help.”

“Or we can use mayo!” Clair attempted again, “Since it's a low grade version of lube!”

“Who the hell told you that?” Grandpa Randy asked.

“Stop,” I said, “Let's just call animal control and explain what happened. I'm sure they'll help us.”

“You don't call animal control when you're dog get's stuck in your own window. You call the better business bureau,” Aunt Clair stated matter of factly.

“Why?” my mother asked baffled.

“Because there's a dog stuck in the window. Who ever installed the window did a bad job!”

All of the semi-sane people in the room hit their foreheads, like out of a cartoon or movie.

As it turns out, we needed to call the sheriff's office. Still, the dog got out of the window with minimal damage to it. The window needed to be replaced though. Aunt Clair still isn't allowed anywhere near the kitchen or mom's room.


	5. Email Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You accidentally hit Reply All-and everyone received an uncensored rant about your boss. Write the follow-up Reply All.

Mandy sighed in frustration at the mass email the principal sent all of the teachers in reply to her mess-up on parent-teacher night. How was she supposed to know that little Timmy's parents had a longstanding feud with little Bobby's parents, and no one knows how to just get along. What was intended to be a fun colouring activity turned into a brouhaha over Bobby's mom kissing Timmy's dad.

To help vent her frustration Mandy started composing her list of complaints with the principal, and parents in general. It read:

_To all whom are concerned (and if you have received this email, you are concerned):_

_As you all know our boss has felt the need to inform everyone of our recent policy changes due to my fuck up on PT Night. I feel the need to inform you of the following problems with this school, and how changing the policy isn't going to change anything._

  * _Mrs. Honda is stupid to think that one little change to our policy is going to change the way our adults can not get along. If anything, we should be promoting parent co-operation with each other. Maybe then the Maheshwaran couple and the Smith couple could just work together._
  * _Mrs. Honda doesn't believe in gay rights if she's planning on letting the Smith couple return to campus and keep their position on the PTO, and yet the Maheshwaran couple can't even come on campus to pick up their son anymore (and from what I've heard that is indeed her plan)._
  * _Even though I have been offered tenure, I have decided that after this year I will be leaving the school. I will likely try to find a job in another state entirely. This incident has taught me that we are a school of hypocrites and I do believe that my actions were the right one's to take. Clearly, no one believes in my ability to teach children anymore, since I somehow caused a fight between two sets of adults who are supposed to be better people for the sake of their children._
  * _Also, Bobby and Timmy are best friends, but they feel like they can't tell their parents. I have been keeping their secret for far too long. It's time someone figure out how to make parents of these two sweet caring get along for long enough that Timmy and Bobby don't keep important secrets from their parents. You know, because at some point both children will know someone who does drugs, and if they want to stay on the college track maybe they should talk to their parents about drugs, rather than taking the ones offered to them. Just saying, your kid can not trust you, they can't talk to you, and then they feel like their trapt. Yes, I do know this from experience. This doesn't make me any less qualified to teach._
  * _All parents whose children attend our school should go back to kindergarten. One of our mission statements is to teach moral values. Isn't one of our moral values 'Respect' and another 'Caring?' Clearly the parents of this school need to relearn these two values, because if I see one more parent brawl I'm going to send both of the parents to detention. Do not for one second think that a third grade teacher does not have the power to do that. Do not underestimate the care-bear stare as my students have so lovingly nicknamed it._



_This concludes my email of complaints. Thank you, and have a nice day._

Mandy deleted the email, running out of steam. After all, she had children to go teach. It looked like they were all done with the board work, and with the recent changes in curriculum no one could afford to waste a second of school minutes.

***

By the time lunch rolled around several staff members and parents had poked their heads into Mandy's classroom and quietly apologized to her while her students were attempting to share crayons. Most of the students were doing well at the whole sharing thing too. Maybe the parents could learn a thing or two from their children. Mandy had to laugh at the irony of it. Way to go kids, showing up your parents like this. A surprise pizza party would definitely be in store.

During her lunch break, Mandy decided to check her email, and instantly realized she made a mistake. The email at the top of the box was from her boss. It was long, and the language far too formal, but it essentially boiled down to please don't leave because we're understaffed. Looking back at her rant email from this morning, Mandy saw she accidentally sent the email to everyone. Mandy gave a deep sigh and went about fixing her mistake.

_To Everyone:_

_I would like to formally apologize for sending my rant letter out. I hadn't meant to send that to anyone. I accidently made the personal buisness of two family's more public than I'm sure either of them consented to. I apologize for that. I may have also accidentally destroyed a friendship which would be fantastic for two little boys. I can not express my regret for that._

_As for my resignation from this school, I meant to announce this in a different manner, and in more polite terms, but I am refusing tenure and leaving this school because I have volunteered my services to teach children of refugees in Ethiopia. I had been planning on returning to this school after a few years of teaching in Ethiopia, but recent events have lead me to think more deeply about whether I will return to this school after I have left. In anycase, I can not stay at this school while I am teaching in Ethiopia, and I believe I already sent an email to Mrs. Honda about my current plans._

_I think our school also needs an assembly before winter-break followed by another parent-teacher night on why we have character counts, and how we as adults can promote character counts in school and in our children's home-lives. I will email our esteemed principle further on this matter._

_Once again, I would like to apologize for sending my unfiltered rant email, and did not intend to offend anyone._


	6. Exiled

Where would you chose to be exiled?

The land is so rich. Rich with minerals for good crops, rich with trees for all sorts of animals to hide in and get food from, rich in clean water. Pine nuts are common, and taste so freaking good. The river floods every rainy season, providing crops with easy water. Berries are sweet, and easier to come by than pine nuts even. Deer cooked over an open fire has never tasted so good as it does when you live in a land which provides for you when you work.

What three essential items would you take with you?

Of course, hunting is easier when you have a shot gun (1) and unlimited ammo (2). A little bit of duct tape (3) goes a long way too, doesn't it?


	7. Kisses

Describe your first kiss.

Trilla couldn't describe her first kiss. There were just so many first kisses. The first time her mom kissed her cheek, the first time she kissed a boy. The first time she kissed a girl because she was bi-curious (though she firmly decided she was straight). The first time she kissed someone she really wanted to. The first time she kissed someone because she just wanted to be kissed, and anyone would do. The first time she kissed Roger. The first time she kissed Mark. The first time she kissed her then boyfriend, now husband. There were just too many kisses.

Describe your most recent kiss

Drake could most definitely describe his most recent kiss. It was sloppy and wet, but then he'd been having sex with his wife at the time. She was such a fiery creature; all teasing and warm.

Just thinking about her made him excited. And yet, for all her fire in the bedroom, she was a demure, soft spoken woman, with a brilliant mind, but lacking the confidence to speak it. It really did bring out the softer emotions in Drake, making him want to hug her. Their most recent kiss, had been nothing compared to any of her other kisses, which were usually much softer and by far more chaste.

Describe your next kiss

“You know what really gets me off?” Chandra fussed at the hem of the dress she was attempting to tailor, “A man who can kiss half as well as he looks.”

“So what makes a kiss good to you?” John asked, still trying to get used to heels.

“I like when a guy holds me close, pulls his fingers through my hair, that sort of thing,” she started, “And he leans in to kiss me slowly, so that I have time to back away if I'm not into it. Although, we're assuming I'm really into it if he's already trying to kiss me.”

“Please continue,” John rolled his eyes, “It's not like we don't have all day.”

“You asked what I think the perfect kiss is,” Chandra mock glared at the man, “Where was I?”

“Guy runs fingers through hair and leans in slowly,” John reminded her.

“Right, right. Um... this is going to sound kind of weird, but I like it when a guy has soft lips. It means he takes good care of himself. Plus I like the feeling of smooth lips, rubbing against mine. At first, he'd just press his lips against mine, and then he'd swipe his tongue along the seam of my lips,” Chandra sighed at this, “And then he'd play with my bottom lip.”

“Perfect kiss huh?” John asked.

Chandra stood, satisfied with the alterations she made, “The perfect kiss. What do you think of the dress?”

“Obviously it doesn't fit my chest, but I think she'll like it,” John did a quick spin in the dress, “Yeah, she'll like it. Now help me out of this corset. I don't know how women do it.”

“We don't usually wear corsets,” Chandra giggled, “And you measured correctly in everything else. Thanks for being a nice model. Hopefully the bust fits.”

“Yeah,” John slowly leaned in towards Chandra, running his fingers through her short, curly hair.

It was then that Chandra received her perfect kiss.


	8. Instructions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Write instructions for how to do something you haven't learned to do since you were very young (blow a bubblegum bubble, or swim, or tie your shoes, or make a paper airplane, or build a snowman, for instance).

How to make a Fortune Teller/Cootie Catcher:

1) Make sure your paper is square. Do this by folding one edge of your paper to the other edge diagonally. Would pictures make this easier to describe? Yes. Will you get pictures? No. Cut off the long, unfolded edge. Now you have a square piece of paper.

2) Fold along the other diagonal so that the creases in your paper form an 'X' shape.

3) Fold each corner of your paper to the center.

4) Fuss over the fact that your paper did not fold into the center in even pieces. Give up trying to make it perfect.

5) Drink some alcohol or soda.

6) Turn the paper over to the side with no folded corners. Fold each corner into the center.

7) If it wasn't perfect before it is definitely not perfect now. Drink more wine/soda.

8) Label each flap with a number. Be aware that if you do not go in a clockwise or counterclockwise motion your fortune teller won't work properly. If you are making a cootie catcher, do not bother with this step. You should now have labeled the flaps 1-8, which each sliver of a flap labeled.

9) Drink because you probably did it wrong.

10) Lift up the flap and write two fortunes. One fortune per number. Do this with all flaps so you have eight fortunes. Again, skip this step if making cootie catcher instead.

11) Fold edges of fortune teller together hotdog style. This should give you four flaps with nothing on them. Label each one with a number or a color. Make sure there is one color with an odd number of letters in it.

12) Place fingers under each color/numbered flap and begin playing.

13) Drink because that took way too much time and nothing looks right.


	9. The Banquet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At a banquet in Kazakhstan, you are greeted as a guest of honor and served the traditional sheep's eyeball. Respectfully, you decline. You are then offered the sheep's tongue, instead. What's your excuse this time?

“Um...” Roxy stared down at the eyeball on her plate, “My culture doesn't approve of eating eyeballs. Is there some other piece of meat that is equally traditional that my culture wouldn't disapprove of?”

The translator apparently does his job well, because the eyeball is taken away. Roxy relaxed slightly, hoping she get's the ear instead. It'll be fatty and kind of gross, but at least it won't make her squirm in displeasure at the thought of messing with an eyeball of some sort.

Unfortunately, the ear is not what they bring out next. It's a tongue. Frick a brick, Roxy thought to herself, It'll be like frenching a sheep. Ick!

Than man who offered her the tongue spoke, and looked hopefully at her. The translator told her, “The man says that the tongue is the second best part of the sheep. It's a shame that your culture finds sheep eyeballs to be food unfit for such a lovely lady.”

“Wow, thank you,” Roxy plastered a smile on her face, “But surely this is too much meat for such a small lady as myself.”

Too much meat, Roxy scolded herself, they're not going to believe that. And you'll still have to eat the tongue.

“I have to use the restroom,” Roxy suddenly exclaimed before leaving for the lavatory. One the way there she jumped out a window and ran away.


End file.
